Last weekend, I descended on New York City like the rest of the fashion world for a look at what’s new. Instead of trying to sneak into a show at Bryant Park, or vying to work backstage like in my college days, I booked a ticket to the Curvy Con, powered by Dia & Co. Curvy Con is a fashion week event that caters specifically to the plus size consumer. Indie brands and heavy hitters alike make presentations and sell their wares to folks who have flocked to a space where they can finally touch, feel and try on the product before taking it home. It was more than just an event, it was a movement. Here are my favorite take-aways from the weekend.

Don’t be Afraid to Take up Space

I had my “Shrill” moment IRL when Hunter McGrady came in to speak on a diversity and inclusion panel during The Knot x Kleinfeld’s bridal presentation. She was a true glamazon in her sky-high heels at about 6’2, full figured and dressed to the nines. I walked different after being in her presence. I got stopped on the street in my evening gown and was told how beautiful I looked. I didn’t shrink away from it, I embraced it. I learned that we have so much power when we stand up and support brands that support us. The more space we take up, the less these fashion brands can ignore us.

Gas Each Other Up

It literally costs us nothing to pay a compliment, or to smile in someone’s direction. So why do we try so hard to play it cool by playing hard to get? I made instant friends at Curvy Con, and we have continued the support long after the flight home. So many of us are in group chats, planning meet ups in our cities, and just blowing up each other’s Instagrams with likes and follows.

Making Friends as an Adult Doesn’t have to be Hard

It helps to have a common struggle, though. Standing in line before the convention opened, I made immediate friends with the folks around me. We were all so excited to be there, and we knew without saying much, how important it was to be there. We have all been in tears in the fitting room, we have all been told our sizes were only available online, we have all been encouraged to shrink ourselves, hate ourselves, and disappear. What a freeing place to be in the margins, to know you won’t be judged. I chatted with a straight-size press representative after a show and she told me it was her most favorite fashion week event to cover, because she felt like she could just be herself. How sad and beautiful that we are maybe the only crew at fashion week who truly got to just “be ourselves”?

The Big Dream you never thought you’d go for will happen

We’ve waited our whole lives to get to the right size, or to have the right qualifications. We waited to pursue the education, or for the right folks to open the right doors. We’ve waited for fairy tale relationships, and validation from folks who will never give it to us. Stop waiting and take matters into your own hands. As Curvy Con founder Cece Olisa says, “don’t wait on your weight”! Also, talk about your big plans (without giving too much away!), you don’t know who’s waiting in your corner to help you start that business, or to blow up your IG follow count. That big dream you’ve been seeking, is also seeking you.

Don’t wait on others- try things alone

A lot of folks were surprised that I booked a ticket without my wife, and without knowing anyone going (though I did end up running into an old friend while I was there!). I was scared and nervous and anxious, but in the end I’m so so glad I did it. I had to go and learn some things on my own, without the influence of others around me. I was able to come home and bring my whole self with me.

People you Know Online Might be Better Online

Sometimes we freeze up or get overwhelmed in big groups, and that’s ok. The influencers and bloggers who attend these events might not have the big bubbly personality that you came to expect. It can be frustrating in the moment, but it’s important to step back and remember that everyone’s human. You may have caught them in a moment when they’ve talked to people for hours and are simply exhausted. Perhaps folks who have time to craft the perfect shot and edit a great caption just can’t hold court in person with the same energy. I had to learn to step back and give folks the benefit of the doubt.

Brands that inspired me:

1. If you wish you could wear Theory, then you’ll love Henning. Founder and model Lauren Chan is a goddess, and an absolute sweetheart IRL. Think luxurious wear-to-work pieces that will last a lifetime.

2. If you wish you could wear Chloe, then you’ll love Veronica Beard. Think classic tweeds, suiting and separates that will easily transition to happy hour.

3. If you wish you could wear Balenciaga, then you’ll love Rebdolls. Think bold, colorful streetwear inspired pieces. Go for a head to toe monochromatic color palette, or break it up with some color blocking.

4. If you wish you could wear Dries Van Noten, then you’ll love Tamara Malas. Think fun prints, with a 1970’s vibe. You’ll have dresses, jackets, leggings and tops perfect for that “off duty”, but photo-ready moment.

5. If you wish you could wear Cult Gaia, then you’ll love Zelie for She. Think gorgeous jumpsuits, and a focus on texture, color and shape. Wear your pieces on a fabulous vacation to Ibiza (I blew my Ibiza budget shopping)!

If you’re on the fence about buying a ticket to the next one, do it. I have a newfound perspective on where I fit into this whole fashion world and it’s pretty exciting to be on the precipice of something this big. Retailers are waking up to the fact that we’ve been here, and that we’re ready to spend money. If they resist, they’re only going to get left behind.

If you want a piece of the Curvy Con for yourself I am giving away some of my own curvy con swag for one reader! Just leave a comment below, and follow me on Instagram to enter! (Contest closed)