The henna is fading off the palms of my hands, and the jet lag still has me going in and out of bouts of energy and grogginess. My suitcase is still packed with our espadrilles, saffron, and bangles but I have to tell you all about our trip to India. We went for a friend’s wedding in Hyderabad, which was spectacular (even by Indian standards!), and we stayed after to do the “Golden triangle tour” of Delhi, Agra and Jaipur. Here is a recap of everything we did, and everything you’ll need to know if you’re thinking about planning a trip, or attending an Indian wedding!

The Wedding

If you didn’t already know, Indian weddings are BIG and extravagant! It is traditional to invite everyone you know, and maybe a few people you don’t. We actually know the bride, as she and my wife are sorority sisters from their university days! The wedding was held at the Taj Falaknuma, which was completed in 1893 as a palace for the Prime Minster of Hyderabad, and now currently operates as a hotel.

Indian weddings typically aren’t just a wedding ceremony and reception, like American weddings. There are multiple days of events, and we went to two days of them. The first day was the Mehendi, or welcome party. It was a gorgeous garden party with endless buffets of Indian, Mexican and American foods, dancing, henna painting, tarot card readings, and thousands of hanging marigolds to usher the couple into their new life together.

The Food

I found myself often asking the servers at the buffet stations what certain dishes were, hoping to get an explanation of what ingredients were used, or how spicy they might be. They would usually give me the Indian name of the dish, and I’d nod as if I knew what they meant, and then ask for a little bit on my plate. None of the food was overly spicy to me, but might be to someone who is very sensitive to spice. I learned later, that the catering companies and hotels will often lessen the amount of spice used if they know there is an international gathering of people. Even if you are unsure what you are eating, try a little bit and see if you like it! There is hardly much dairy used, and most foods are also vegetarian, and are usually labeled as such.

Hyderabad is also famous for it’s Biryani, or mixed rice dish. After the wedding, we had to hit the famous establishment, Paradise restaurant to try some for ourselves.

The Sangeet

That same night was the Sangeet, which is a party where family members perform in song and dance for the couple. We were dropped off under a tunnel of lights, and immediately adorned with gifted jewelry. We walked up, and the entire front lawn of the Palace had been transformed into a concert venue with butlered hors d’oeurves, signature cocktails, and a massive dance floor. We danced well into the night, and even got pulled onstage when a few Indian pop stars (like Neeti Mohan and Kanika Kapoor) showed up to entrance the crowd. It was like something out of a movie. We must have been on our feet until about 3 or 4 in the morning. It was magical, but it wasn’t over.

The Wedding Day

The following day was the traditional Hindu ceremony, which, for the guests, begins with the groom’s Baraat, or parade. We met at the bottom of the drive up to the palace where a percussion band, full afternoon tea and turban wrapping station were awaiting us. Floral chandeliers hung from the branches of the tree overhead, and a horse drawn carriage pulled up, ready for the groom and his escorts to follow our processional up the drive. We were led by the percussionists, and danced all the way until we were greeting by the bride’s side of the family at the palace (I know we’re technically on the bride’s side, but she recommended we attend the Baraat because it’s so much fun!).

When we arrived, we were showered in thousands of rose petals, handed gifts, and ushered to our seats on the large terrace of the palace. The service was all in Hindi, but luckily we had a program that explained all the symbolism of everything we saw. The bride had a vibrant red and bejeweled sari, and intricate mehndi (henna tattoos) that covered her forearms. It was interesting that unlike a western wedding, there is no point in which the bride and groom kiss. PDA is generally unacceptable in India, and the wedding was no exception. The signal of the end of the ceremony was instead set off with fireworks from the main lawns of the palace.

After the ceremony, we were escorted through the palace to the courtyard, which had been set for dinner, drinks and dancing. There were more Indian pop star performances, shots brought around for everyone, and so much food there was no way we could even try it all. It was an international feast with traditional Indian fare from various regions, a raclette station with shaved black and white truffles, a made-to-order pad thai station with all the trimmings, and an endless array of Indian desserts like gulab jamun- a delicious fried treat soaked in syrup. There were tearful toasts, a beautiful first dance, an outfit change, a same-day edited wedding video displayed on a big screen, and of course, more fireworks. We even stole away to a quiet veranda that overlooked all the twinkling lights of the city before us. It was all so intoxicating, and overwhelming.  

The following day was New Years Eve, and we were exhausted. The jet lag and partying was all catching up with us, and we spent the night sleeping. Honestly, no New Years Eve party was going to compare to that wedding anyways, so I have zero regrets about staying in!

Shopping for an Indian Wedding

Because the first event began the same morning we arrived, we really didn’t have a chance to go shopping before hand for Indian attire. We opted to find outfits that were colorful or Indian inspired, that we might be able to get more use out of in the states for future events. We did peruse an Indian clothing store in Hyderabad anyways, and were impressed to find that most local stores carried up to a 3x, and had a range of price points and styles. If you are headed to India for a wedding, get there a day or two early and do a little shopping! If we had more time, it for sure would have been the way to go!

Hyderabad

We stayed a few extra days in Hyderabad to explore before heading up to Delhi. We did some sight seeing and explored the Salar Jung museum, Chowmahalla Palace, the Mecca Masjid, the Birla Mandir, and the Charminar. Hyderabad has a large Hindu and Muslim population, so the architecture was an interesting mix of both cultures. The Hindu temples (like the Birla Mandir) do not allow photography, and will make you check in your cameras and cell phones before entering. At first, I thought it was a bummer, but once I was up in the white marble temple overlooking the entire city of Hyderabad, I realized it was a blessing to be forced to disconnect. I had to be present and in the moment, and not worried about whether or not I had gotten an insta-worthy shot.

Both the mosques and temples will make you remove your shoes before entering, so be prepared to walk around barefoot! With no shoes on your feet, and no phone in your hand, you are grounded, present and one with the world around you.

The Selfies

It was a bit surprising at first, and a bit intrusive and annoying later on, but everyone in town kept asking us to take selfies with them. Though the people are all shades and sizes, India is not very racially diverse, and unfortunately, whiteness is still seen as the ideal standard of beauty. Seeing two white women was clearly not a daily occurence, as we quickly found out. At first, it didn’t bother me, because white folks have long since fetishized people of color with photography (Hello, National Geographic). However, we much preferred when people introduced themselves and actually had conversations with us. Most people were kind when asking for photos, but some just took them without our permission.

Next Week

Because there is so much to talk about, I’ve split our trip into two posts. Next week, I’ll recap our Golden Triangle tour of Delhi, Agra and Jaipur, and tell you a few things you’ll need to know before you go. Comment below if you’ve been to an Indian wedding, and what your favorite part was, or if you plan on attending one in the near future! You can also see more from our trip on my Instagram highlights tab titled, “India”.