I am in and out of fitting rooms nearly every day. I shop for a living, and I often try on clothes purely for research so I can make better recommendations for my clients. You’d think after years of this work, the fitting room would be a less daunting place. In my teenage years, the fitting room of a department store was usually an exercise of mental fortitude that often ended in shouting matches with my mother (sorry mom), tears, fits of rage or all of the above. Here are 5 things to remember next time you have to face the fitting room.

1. The clothes should fit you, not the other way around.

            You are not obligated to change your body shape so that you can fit into clothes. Clothing should fit you. Grab another size, or find a new brand/store/fabric/etc. We vote with our dollars, and frankly, if a brand isn’t going to invest in me, I refuse to invest in them.

2. Take care of you first. If you need to stop or take a break, do that.

            I’ve been at that place where I’m 3 items deep into trying 10 pieces on, and I can already tell it’s going to be a big old waste of time. Hang them back up, and remove yourself from the fitting room. Take a deep breath and maybe try a different store, or a different day. It’s not worth powering through to get to one item that you only bought because you don’t absolutely hate it.

3. Phone a friend (or bring one!)

            Call in supportive reinforcements, especially if those reinforcements share a similar body type to you! Don’t think you have to do everything alone just because we are all taught to be ashamed of our bodies. A friend might offer up useful advice, or know of a brand you hadn’t thought of. They can also keep it real with you when you’re struggling to justify where you’ll ever wear the impulse ball gown you decided to try on.

4. Keep in mind that there is no universal sizing standard

            A size 10 in one store might be equal to a size 6 in another. The way sizing works is because of the way bodies work. There is no standard, because people are not one shape. Most brands start by hiring a fit model that is usually at the mid point of the size range they offer. They fit the clothes for her, and grade up or down to create the full range of sizing. Basically, if you don’t share the dimensions of this one woman, this brand probably won’t fit you right. If you are consistently unable to find sizing in a particular label, look elsewhere.

5. You deserve cute clothes, NOW. Don’t wait until you’re some “ideal” size.

            Trolls on Instagram love to claim that putting on cute clothes and sharing a photo of yourself “glorifies obesity”, but it’s actually glorifying good health. Folks who take care of their general appearance, and feel good about themselves tend to take better care of their overall health (and yes, this can be supported with science). Not that you owe the world your health, but putting on something you don’t love just because it fits isn’t going to make you feel your best. You deserve cute clothes as you are right now, in the body you currently have.

The truth is, no one has a perfect fitting room experience. But we could all benefit from having some tools to tackle the stress of them a little bit better. Next time you’re dreading clothes shopping, pull your phone out and find this blog post! Advice on what to wear or how to style it won’t matter if you can’t get through this step first. You’re gonna look great, you got this.