About the Conservatorship and the #FreeBritney movement

Britney Spears is back in the spotlight over the NY Times documentary “Framing Britney Spears”. It is available to stream on Hulu, and it brings up the current conservatorship battle Britney is entangled in, which led to the “#FreeBritney” movement. Back in 2008 after a mental health episode and public scrutiny, Britney’s father, Jamie Spears and his lawyer were named co-conservators of her person and estate. This essentially means they control everything she does, says, and buys. She cannot go to Starbucks for a latte without their permission, but was deemed well enough during the conservatorship to release an album, headline Las Vegas’s most popular residency to date, be a judge on X Factor, and book countless other deals and endorsements through the direction of her father. The legal issues that have surfaced are highlighting the abuses within the conservatorship program, and putting the spotlight on mental health and the rampant mistreatment that Spears and others have suffered. The additional conversation the documentary has sparked is about the rampant misogyny and rape culture that was so casual and accepted prior to the “me too” movement. 

The first concert I ever attended was a Britney Spears show in 1999 at Universal City Walk in North Hollywood. I knew the words to every song- I still do. I can’t wait to hear her side of the story one day. 

This original piece was published in “The Year of the Mermaid” in 2013. TW: sexual assault and suicide.

Apology to Britney Spears

We painted you sugar cane, crowned you princess.

Didn’t account for how heavy the stick fibers

of cotton candy tastes.

We should have seen it more warning sign

Than top 40

When you were asking to be hit.

Asking us to shake you from the nightmare of

“Be careful what you wish for”

Britney-

Did you ask for this?

Or did they paint you pretty

And play puppeteer?

Just another teenage girl we can play Barbies with

And fuck senseless.

This is what happens when we label

Sex symbols at 17

Miley Cyrus is just Britney’s time machine.

You are a slow burn.

Born ember, now raging inferno.

Are you ever angry that we did this to you?

Caged you behind glass and demanded that you dance

Like childhood ain’t nothin.

Go on and crawl half naked for us.

Drip sweat across jeweled belly button.

Does all that glitter ever get caught in your throat?

Does it choke and suffocate that girl,

Blinded beneath camera flash

In slow motion

Sinking, drowning into bathtub in that music video-

You never told him you didn’t want to be saved.

That you were an inch away from opening your mouth

And takin a deep breath.

Britney-

Did you ever want to kill yourself?

Make it the greatest publicity stunt of the year-

Your face splashed glossy and lifeless across thousands of magazine covers

Like it already is.

Were you afraid to let anything in you

Continue growing

When you pressed razor to scalp,

Or were you just hoping the blade might

Reach in too far

And lobotomize your fantastic nightmares,

Britney-

Did you ever write a poem?

Just read it raw off of page

Instead of adding vocals and synthesizers,

Sequins and spotlight?

I am sorry we raped you.

Took innocence without consent,

Penetrated and robbed you so maliciously

You never quite learned how

To love right again.

Britney-

We painted you sugar cane,

Cotton candy is just pink fiberglass,

Now trying to claw its way out.

I bet

When you took that first,

Sweetly poisoned bite,

You had no idea it would taste

Like this.